Aishiteru
by Sakura-chan
Summary: S+S are 18, and Syaoran breaks up with Sakura. It's then 5 years later and Syaoran's getting married. Can Sakura deal with it? This is the revised version. Took out all those author's notes. Now go r&r and read "Betrayed"!!!


FanFiction.Net Ok, this is my very first fanfic ever, so please, be gentle on the replies! Thanks to all the authors who wrote about   
Syaoran and/or Sakura dying, especially Callist426 and her story "I will love you" for this idea, even though she doesn't   
know about it! 

Warning: major sadness ahead. Sakura and Syaoran break up and this totally destroys Sakura. Syaoran moves on but   
will come to a huge realization later on. R&R please!!! 

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, but, *sob*, I wish I did!!!!!!!!!! Now please, don't sue me, I need the money 2 buy   
Christmas presents! You wouldn't deprive 15 people of their well-deserved gifts, would u? 

Key   
"..." means someone talking   
'...' means thoughts   
--------- means scene change   
{...} means author's notes   
****bold words mean japanese words whose definitions will appear at the end   
  


**Aishiteru**   
  


An 18-year old Kinomoto Sakura was sitting by the King Penguin Slide, leaning against it. She shivered from the   
coldness of the day, but ignored it. She had been there for hours, trying to understand what had happened.   


~Flashback~ 

"It's over," he said. 

Sakura just stood there, unbelieving. "**Hoe**?" she whispered. 

"I said it's over," he repeated. Syaoran was standing in front of Sakura, looking very uncomfortable. 

"But, but..." Sakura stuttered. 

"I have to go now," Syaoran said. "Good-bye, Sakura." He turned around and ran away. Sakura watched him until he   
disappeared from sight. Then she dropped to her knees and started crying. 

~End Flashback~   


'Why?' Sakura thought. 'Why did you break up with me? Don't you love me?' She broke down into tears again.   
'Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?' The question kept pounding in her mind. "Why?" she whispered. Then she fell   
asleep, exhausted from her crying. 

------------------------------------------------   
Sakura woke up. The first thing she noticed that she wasn't cold anymore. 'Where am I?' she wondered. 

"You're awake!" she heard someone say. Sakura turned her head toward the sound of the voice and saw a worried   
Kero floating next to her. She was in her room, safe and sound. "**Daijobu desu ka**? What happened? Touya found   
you asleep in the park! You've been sleeping for 2 days straight!" 

"I don't want to talk about it," Sakura mumbled. She turned away from Kero, ignored his protest, and thought about   
what had happened. She started getting sleepy again, so she thought, '**Aishiteru**, Syaoran. I always have and I always   
will,' and then drifted back to sleep. 

------------------------------------------------   
5 years later... 

"I've invited Tomoyo, Eriol, Yamazaki, Rika, Naoko, and Chiharu as well. So, can you come?" Syaoran asked. Silence   
greeted him. "Sakura? Sakura, are you there?" 

"**Gomen**, Li-kun. Of course I'll come. I wouldn't want to miss your wedding for the world." 'Liar!' she thought to   
herself. 'You're only saying that because if you refused, he would know that you still loved him!' 

"Great!" he replied. "I'll see you in two weeks then. **Ja ne**!" He hung up. 

"Ja ne," she said quietly. A 23-year old Sakura stared at the receiver before hanging up. 'Syaoran's getting married.   
He doesn't love me anymore.' Sakura had known that fact for a long time, but couldn't bring herself to accept it. It had   
been 5 years, and she was out of college already and living on her own, but she still hadn't accepted it. Until now. 'He   
loves someone else now. He doesn't love me anymore, but I still love him.' Now, she finally had to accept it. She cried   
herself to sleep that night. 

------------------------------------------------   
The next morning... 

Sakura woke up. 'Syaorans's getting married' was the first thought that came to her mind. Tears started pooling in her   
eyes. '**Baka**!' she thought angrily. 'I will not cry! I will be happy for Syaoran and wish him a happy life at his wedding!   
I will NOT cry! Now, I will act very happy and be glad that Syaoran is getting married.' 

Sakura got out of bed. Kero was already awake, playing video games as usual. "**Ohayo**, Kero-chan," she said. 

"Ohayo, Sakura-chan," Kero replied, eyes glued to the TV screen. Sakura laughed and got went to the bathroom to get   
ready for the day. 

Kero paused the game after Sakura left. 'It's good to hear her laugh again,' he thought. Sakura hadn't laughed in 5   
years. He had pretty much figured out why. With that Li-kid never coming around anymore, he knew that the two had   
broken up. 'Poor Sakura-chan. You loved that **gaki**, but he didn't care. He just left you.' Then his thought turned to   
why Sakura was laughing now. 'I wonder what happened.' He turned off the game console and waited patiently for   
Sakura to come out of the bathroom. 

"Ok, spill it," Kero said when Sakura finally came out. "What happened?" 

"Why, nothing happened Kero-chan. Li-kun's getting married, that's all." Sakura said, surprised at Kero for asking so   
suddenly. 

Kero's mouth dropped to the floor. "That brat's getting married??" he exclaimed. "How can he call you and tell you, after what he did to you??" 

"Because, Kero-chan, we're still friends!" Sakura replied angrily. "And don't call him a brat!" She stomped out of the   
room, leaving a hysterical Kero-chan behind. 

------------------------------------------------   
The day of Syaoran's wedding... 

"Sakura! How wonderful to see you again," Syaoran said as he embraced her. 

"It's nice to see you too, Li-kun," Sakura replied. "It's been too long. Congratulations on your wedding. How have   
you been?" 

"I've been wonderful! You really must meet my fiancé, Yoki. I've told her a lot about you. She's been eager to finally   
meet you. 

"Of course." Sakura said. "Where is she?" 

"If you go down this hall, she's in the third room on the right." Syaoran turned and pointed. 

"**Arigato**, Li-kun." Sakura turned as well and walked towards where Syaoran was pointing. 

'So, I'll finally get to meet her. I wonder what she's like. I hope she treats Syaoran right. I'll kill her if she doesn't.'   
Sakura thought to herself as she walked down the hallway. 'Now let's see, the third door. **Aa**, here we are.' She   
knocked on the door. 

"Come in," she heard. Sakura turned the doorknob and entered. 

"Hello," a woman in the middle of the room said. She had long black hair and brown eyes. "May I help you?" 

"I'm Kinomoto Sakura. I'm looking for Yoki." 

"Oh, so you're Sakura-chan! I've been waiting so long to meet you!" the same person replied. "I am Yoki. Now, how   
about we tell each other all about one another, hmm?" Yoki went over to some chairs on the side of the room. 

"All right." Sakura went over to the chairs too and they started talking. 

------------------------------------------------   
"You may now kiss the bride." 

Syaoran leaned in and kissed Yoki on the lips. Sakura watched this from her seat next to Tomoyo, who was recording   
like crazy. 'I should be the one on that alter. I should be the one Syaoran's kissing.' she thought. Her eyes got watery,   
so she took out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes. She didn't look up again. She had seen Syaoran walk down the   
aisle earlier, tears of happiness in his eyes, and she just couldn't stand seeing him and Yoki together. She didn't watch   
them walk out of the church. 

------------------------------------------------   
At the reception... 

"**Ano**, Li-kun, but I'm not feeling well. I think I had better go back to the house.1 " Sakura told him. 'Gomen Syaoran. I'm really very sorry.' 

"Are you sure Sakura?" She nodded. "Well, then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast then. Good-bye." 

"Ja ne," Sakura replied. 'Good-bye forever. Aishiteru.' 

------------------------------------------------   
One week later... 

Syaoran walked down the aisle again. This time though, he was in Japan, and the tears in his eyes were not from   
happiness, but from grief. When he reached the coffin, he looked down at the woman he loved. She was beautiful, even   
in death. Syaoran took her hands and put a cherry blossom2 in them. "Why?" he asked quietly. "Why did you leave me? Why didn't I know I still loved you?" 

~Flashback~ 

Syaoran woke up in his bedroom in his house. It was the day after his wedding, and he was very happy. He couldn't   
remember ever being happier. Yoki was his wife. They had had a wonderful wedding. The reception was in the best   
restaurant in Hong Kong and he had had so much fun. Except for when Sakura had to leave, of course. 

'Sakura,' Syaoran thought. 'I hope she's okay. She really didn't look good last night. Oh well, I can check on her at   
breakfast later.' 

There was a knock at the bedroom door. "Come in," Syaoran said. 

The door opened and Tomoyo entered. She was a wreck. Her hair was all messed up, she was still in her nightgown,   
and she was crying. "Tomoyo!" Syaoran exclaimed. "Daijobu desu ka? What's wrong?" 

Tomoyo hiccuped. "S-Sa-Sakura-chan!" she wailed. 

"Something happened to Sakura? What? Is she okay? I have to go see her!" Syaoran started to head out the door, but   
Tomoyo stopped him. 

"You c-c-can't, L-Li-kun. You can't s-s-see he-er." 

"Why the h*ll not??" 

"Be...because she's...dead!" Tomoyo cried. Then she fell to the floor, sobbing. 

Syaoran stood there, shocked. 'Sakura...dead? No, it couldn't be. It just COULDN'T be!' He grabbed Tomoyo's   
arms and made her stand up again. "What happened?" he asked gruffly. 

"Sh-she...killed herself!" Tomoyo said. "S-sh-sh-she left a n-n-note." 

"Where? What did it say?" 

"I-i-i-i-it's on h-h-he-her b-bed." With that, Syaoran left the room. 

When he got to Sakura's bedroom, he immediately entered. There were police everywhere. One of them came up to   
him. 

"Ano, are you Li Syaoran?" he asked. 

"Yes, what's going on?" 

"Well, we found Kinomoto Sakura's body by a well down by Bird Street3. It seems as though she stabbed herself in the heart with a sword. We found an invitation to your wedding in her coat pocket, so we figured that she was here for your wedding. When we came to search her room, we found a note addressed to you." 

"I want to read it," Syaoran said. 

"Of course, here it is." 

Syaoran quickly took the note. It said:   


Dear Syaoran, 

Gomen. I'm sorry I ruined your wedding. I'm sorry for leaving without telling you. I'm just sorry. 

Please don't blame yourself for what I did. I decided to do it. No one helped me. I did it all by myself. Please don't let   
Tomoyo blame herself either. Tell her it wasn't her fault. Tell her not to cry for me. 

You will have to tell my father and brother what happened, and Kero-chan and Yue-san as well. I know that Kero-chan   
and Touya will want to bite your head off, so just show them this letter. 

There's something I never told you, Syaoran. I still love you. Yes, I know that this will come as a shock to you, but   
what can I say? You were the best thing that ever happened to me. 

I hope you have a happy life with Yoki. Good-bye Syaoran-kun. Aishiteru. 

Love,   
Sakura 

PS There's something under my pillow besides the "book" that I want you to have. Keep it if you'd like, or give it   
away. It doesn't matter.   


Syaoran just stared at the letter. Then he went over to the bed and reached under the pillow. He felt two things there   
and pulled them out. One was the Clow book with Clow cards4 and necklace. The other was Syaoran. It was the teddy bear that Syaoran had made for Sakura when they were 12 {?} and he was going back to Hong Kong. 

'Baka,' the real Syaoran thought. 'How can you say it doesn't matter if I keep it or not. I'll always keep this...because...because I love you.' Syaoran himself was surprised at his thoughts. He still loved Sakura? But, he loved Yoki, didn't he? As he thought about it though, he realized that his relationship with Yoki was nothing like his relationship with Sakura. When he was with Sakura, he could never get angry at her, he could never resist her. He always defended her to the bitter end and it had pained him to break up with her. But, he had to. He was leaving for Hong Kong again, this time for good, so he decided it would be best for Sakura if they broke up and she moved on to love someone else. "Boy, was I wrong," Syaoran muttered under his breath. Now Sakura was dead, and he would never see her again. 

~End Flashback~ 

Syaoran got up from beside the coffin and took one more look at his beloved. He had divorced Yoki already, as he had   
realized he didn't love her and could never love her. Then he ran out of the church, towards the King Penguin Slide.   
When he got there, he leaned against it and sat. 'This is where it happened,' he thought harshly. 'This is where I   
stupidly broke up with Sakura. If I hadn't done that, she'd still be alive and life would be perfect. But it's too late now,   
she gone, and I will live the rest of my life in anguish. Oh, Sakura. I know you said to not blame myself, but it's useless.   
I know that it is my fault. It's all my fault.' Syaoran put his head in his hands and cried. 

When he finally stopped crying, he got up and headed towards his apartment.5 He went in and got out Sakura, the bear Sakura had made for him, and Syaoran. Then he went to the roof with them, yelled, "I'll see you soon!" to the sky, and jumped.   
  


Dictionary 

Hoe - It's Sakura's favorite saying. She says when she's confused, surprised, gonna crash into a wall on her blades, etc. 

Daijobu desu ka - Are you okay? 

Aishiteru - I love you 

Gomen - Sorry 

Ja ne - Good-bye 

Baka - idiot, stupid, etc. 

Ohayo - Good morning 

Gaki - Brat 

Arigato - Thank you 

Aa - Ah 

Ano- Excuse me/Well (as in "Well, I...) 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

No flames, please!! Questions and comments, and constructive criticism welcome. Should I continue writing fics? Hmmm, maybe one where Syaoran dies, he he he. 

Anywayz, to answer some questions that you might have, 1) Sakura is staying at Syaoran's mansion in Hong Kong, 2) Why did Syaoran put a cherry blossom on Sakura's coffin instead of a rose or something? Of course, any true fan would know the answer to this. Sakura means cherry blossom in Japanese. 3) As for "Bird Street", in the first movie, Syaoran, Sakura, Meling, and Tomoyo visited it. It's a major part of the movie. 4) Why are they Clow Cards again? Sakura's dead, so they went back to being Clow Cards. Just seemed to make sense to me. 5) The apartment Syaoran went to was the same one he's always lived in. 

Ok, bye, and don't forget to review! 

Sakura-chan   
Peridots13@mail.com (preferred)   
SakuraBlossoms10@mail.com   
November 2000 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

There. The revised version. As you can see, i took out most of the author's comments and put them at the end. It ruined the mood. A fan very kindly pointed it out. I kinda figured that while I was writing it, but I didn't pay much attention. Fomen, I don't know what I was thinking. Hey, don't blame me though, I was a novice. Now, I'm an experienced writer. =) Anywayz, I hope this was better. Review and tell me if it was!

Sincerely,   
Sakura-chan   
October 12, 2001 


End file.
